Several years ago, I conducted a survey of 190 church planters in the United States and Canada. I wanted to know what they believed were the five most critical issues facing North American church planters. (While I have written about these findings elsewhere, including a series on this blog, if you are interested, here is a brief article “Five Things Church Planters Wished Their Supervisors Knew”.)
Stress on the family was clearly one of the five most critical issues. This finding was not a great surprise given that such missionary work involves ministering in an environment with little infrastructure, high levels of spiritual warfare, and oftentimes apathy and turfism from established churches.
Hearing about this matter from church planters eight years ago, I decided that there was a need for a more comprehensive approach to training North American missionaries. The training did not need to be just on the theology, missiology, strategy, and methods of church planting, but a component was needed to help bring along the entire family in the journey.
Therefore, one of the things I have incorporated into the equipping of church planters through the program at The Southern Baptist Theological Seminary were I direct the Center for North American Missions and Church Planting, is an end-of-the-semester family banquet. And since tonight is the Center’s winter banquet, I wanted to draw your attention to church planting families in this post. While we always have a delightful evening during this event, the event itself is part of the equipping of church planting families.
I have three goals in mind for these 2 hour banquets:
1) To provide seminary couples with fellowship, a good free meal, and childcare at the end of final exams week. I know if I appeal to their humanity, they will show up. If you serve it, they will come. 🙂
2) To allow the couples to hear from husbands and wives who have been on the field. The banquet is not a time for us to talk about the mechanics of church planting. I do an informal discussion with the church planters, giving much of the talking time to the wives, and then allowing anyone present to ask questions.
During these discussions, I encourage the families to share the good, the bad, and the ugly of being a church planting family. Here is a list of questions that I typically ask the husbands and wives (I also give them the questions long before the banquet so they can decide what they need to share.)
- How did you two get involved in church planting?
- Briefly describe your church planting experiences over the years.
- What was it like to raise children while serving as church planters?
- What have been the biggest blessings being a church planting family?
- What have been the biggest challenges being a church planting family?
- What were some of the points of conflict in your marriage that were the result of being involved in church planting?
- As a wife, what support networks did you have for fellowship, assuming you found yourself away from family and friends in a pioneer area?
- Was it easy to neglect your family while serving as a church planter? If not, what did you do to make certain that neglect did not occur?
- How can student families best prepare themselves as a family for life as church planters?
- What steps are necessary to keep the family healthy while on the field?
3) To provide a catalyst to stimulate conversations among the families represented at the banquet. I use the event to give couples “permission” to go home and start talking about the challenges, concerns, and dreams that may be hidden in their hearts regarding such missionary activity. I have found that many times husbands have exciting and romantic (sometimes unlikely) ideas about their future in church planting while the wives usually have more practical (realistic) ideas about their future in church planting. Unfortunately, these two worlds usually do not come together in healthy conversations until problems arise. I want them talking before they find themselves in the church planting trenches.
Before the end of the night, I provide the couples with some resources. By far, the best work on the topic of family life and church planting is a book produced by the North American Mission Board titled, My Husband Wants to be a Church Planter, So What Will That Make Me? During our banquet, we provide each wife a copy of this book as well as a CD we have complied with a variety of files and links to resources of interest to church planting wives. John Bailey and Steve Canter (along with several others) from the North American Mission Board worked on this book project. You can hear Steve’s presentation (from one of our banquets) addressing the contents of this book HERE.
If you are involved in equipping such missionaries for North America, what are you and/or your church, network, or denomination doing to prepare church planting families for the realities of the field?
What are some other excellent resources available regarding the equipping of families for church planting?
If you are a church planter, what strategy do you have in place for a healthy family life on the field?
